The Draft I Don’t Send

I write the first draft fast. It is clumsy and alive. It sounds like someone who believes they’re allowed to take up space.

Then I revise. I remove the parts that feel “too much.” I swap the honest words for polite ones. I build a smaller self.

By the time I’m finished, the message is flawless and empty.

I tell myself I’m being considerate, but what I’m really doing is trying to guarantee a painless reaction.

The unsent draft sits there, still warm. I keep it because it’s proof I meant something.